Day 272 of 1827: Becoming the Person I Should Have Been

I think I’ve got it all wrong.

Shortly after I began my Five Years Abroad, I started noticing changes in myself. Very quickly, I became more extroverted, more creative, more confident, more entrepreneurial… I really felt like I had transformed into a completely new person.

But when I think back to my life in my country of origin, I realize that I got it backwards.

I didn’t become a new person when I left my country of origin. I was forced to be somebody else the whole time I was living in my country of origin.

It’s true; I’ve become more extroverted since I started living abroad. But I was actually very comfortable in social situations when I was growing up. I competed in a regional speaking competition in junior high (incidentally, I placed 7th in the county in the “radio” event… and now I publish podcasts… interesting…). I was the student technical director at my high school’s theater – just as demanding a leadership position as the football team quarterback.

It’s true; I’ve become more creative since I started living abroad. But I was also very artistic when I was a child. I created digital images and music during my school years. I wrote short stories when I was in elementary and junior high schools.

It’s true; I’ve become more confident since I started living abroad. But I always had a sense of trust in myself whenever I was “in my element”. I used to do pyrotechnics for films when I was in college, and I took people’s safety very seriously; when I said the actors were clear, I knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

It’s true; I’ve become more entrepreneurial since I started living abroad. But I was producing value and trading from a very young age. When I was in 1st grade, I drew mazes on sheets of paper and sold them to my classmates. When I was a teenager, I launched an email marketing campaign to try to land freelance web design clients.

All this time, I thought that living in a foreign country had given me superpowers.

But really, what it did was restore the superpowers that I once had.

It also makes me a little sad to think about, though. When I was growing up, what happened to me that made me suppress my true self… that made me hide the person that I really was… that made me adopt a new persona for years and years until it felt more real to me than the person I once was?

Growth can be uncomfortable — painful, at times.

But the result is incredible and worth any cost!